


Dr Paladiknight's First Aid Kit

by guttersvoice



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Comfort, Discussion of but not containing the action itself, Established Relationship, M/M, Self-Harm, implied fade-to-black sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 19:03:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7813537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guttersvoice/pseuds/guttersvoice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Did you do these?”<br/>“No,” Kurapika responds instinctively. And then, because they know Leorio and they know he’s asking to be polite, and it's obvious really, “Yes.”<br/>Leorio hums against their skin, then leans round to kiss their cheek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dr Paladiknight's First Aid Kit

**Author's Note:**

> hey. this is pretty personal, as should be obvious.  
> im not really someone equipped to talk to other people about self harm, other than to say 'yeah, i get it'.  
> if you need help, please find it. [here's a pretty ok place with a good organised list of small ways to help yourself.](http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/how-can-i-help-myself/#.V7c5jJgrLIU)  
> sh comes in a lot of forms, and personally i think a lot of gons behaviour in canon counts. you know what im talking about, right?  
> anyway this is soft, gentle leopika
> 
> take care of yourselves, okay?

Leorio’s kissing along the slope of their shoulder, soft touches warming them through. His hand slides up their arm, and then stops. The kisses stop too; his nose nudges against the crook of their neck.

“Did you do these?”

“No,” Kurapika responds instinctively. And then, because they know Leorio and they know he’s asking to be polite, and it's obvious really, “Yes.”

Leorio hums against their skin, then leans round to kiss their cheek.

“Mind if I look?”

They shrug, tenser about it than they'll admit, and when he gets up and clicks the light on, they shrink into themself a bit, eyes fixed on the wrinkled bedsheets directly in front of them. Leorio takes their arm by the elbow, gentle as ever, and hums again. This time he sounds a lot more displeased. Kurapika bites their lip, head turned away from him. There’s nothing they can say to make this better.

“Are you using your nails, or your chains?” Leorio asks, which wasn't the question they'd expected at all. Making it obvious he knows they're not doing it with a knife, or something like it, like other people who do this. At least, Kurapika assumes other people favour blades. It's not like they've ever talked to anyone about it.

The answer sticks in their throat, so they sit up instead of speaking, pulling the duvet up to cover their chest. Not like Leorio hasn't seen it. They just feel particularly exposed right now.

“You don't have to answer,” Leorio continues to throw them off with his kindness. “But I can cut your nails for you, at least.”

They look at their hands. Their nails are pretty long. Two of them are broken, snapped off at painful angles and sharper than the rest. Not something they'd really noticed.

Leorio kisses their shoulder, a couple inches away from the scabbing wounds, and stands back up.

“Give me a minute, yeah?”

He goes, and they pull the blankets up over and around more of themself, knees curling up to their chest. A bed nest with just their head and a bit of their shoulders poking out.

They don't have time to think much about the situation; Leorio takes just under a minute, comes back with his briefcase, and pouts when he sees how Kurapika has swaddled themself.

“You can't steal all the blankets just because I'm out of the room,” he whines, and that's enough to make them smile. They huddle in closer on themself.

“You have a dressing gown, don't you?”

They're already opening up the nest for him to join them. Leorio sticks his tongue out, climbs back into bed. The briefcase opens with loud clicks. He roots around for nail scissors and pulls out a small variety of things alongside them, setting them down on the top of the case like a little table.

“I'm gonna clean a couple of them,” he says, and Kurapika can tell how hard he's trying to be casual. The realisation comes with a surge of affection for the other man. They don't deserve such kindness, but he'd give it to them even if they told him as much. “They're not infected,” Leorio continues. “But some are lookin’ kinda weepy and open, and better safe than sorry, right?”

They could cry. He's so matter of fact about it, like it isn't shameful or pathetic that they do this to themself every time they're not paying enough attention when they're in the wrong mood. All they can do is nod, but at least now they're able to move their head, watch him dab some kind of antiseptic onto a cotton swab, and then - so gently, with perfect care and concentration and that crinkle between his eyebrows that means he's really focused on getting something right - applying it to the ragged little wounds on their upper arm.

It stings a little.

They don't flinch.

Leorio takes his time cleaning out the nastier cuts, and then, ever so carefully, sticks plasters over them. They're brightly coloured, for kids, featuring a blonde cartoon girl in a tiara and ludicrously short skirt and her black cat, and Kurapika knows they're Leorio’s personal selection. Which means they'll be too polite to just rip them off. Very clever.

“Sorry,” they mumble as Leorio presses a kiss to the treated injuries.

“Don't be,” he tells them, and he’s smiling as he takes their hand to start trimming their nails, so he really means that. “I'm not gonna tell you to stop, either.”

Their disbelief must show on their face, because he kisses the tip of their nose and affectionately taps their foreheads together.

“I know it's not that easy to just quit, Pika,” he continues, getting back to cutting their nails. He's neat and efficient with it. “I do wanna suggest that if you've gotta, though, your chains are gonna be a lot more sterile, since they’re nen and all - so if you can favour them, that'll be a lot safer. And if you can clean and dress them after, it'll help with healing.” 

They're trembling. They want so much to say something - to express their gratitude for how he's responding to the situation. He's still talking. “I was really lucky not to get an infection from the nasty old scalpel I used to use, but not everyone has luck like mine, and you're a lot smaller than me, which won't help in that sort of situation.”

The implications of his words has heat rushing to their face.

“Oh,” they say. He kisses their palm, and they can feel him smile against it.

“Other hand,” he says, and they shift around to hold it out. 

“Thank you,” they manage.

“Thank you for letting me,” he shrugs. “I've had some violent refusals in the past. Thought you were gonna kick me out for a minute there.”

Kurapika wonders who else Lerio has known that needed this type of care and attention. Kurapika wonders if any of their mutual friends fit that category. It's not really their place to ask, and Leorio is too kind to tell them.

“I thought you'd think it pathetic,” they confess, trying to sound flippant about it despite the wobble in their voice. “That it'd finally prove that I'm not worth your t-”

They're cut off with a kiss. Leorio’s mouth is rough and sweet and honest, and they melt a little into him. 

“No,” he tells them.

“I know,” they agree, kissing him again. “It's obvious now I was being silly and self-absorbed, but I did think that. Thank you for continuing to be - you.”

They don't know how to phrase it better. From the twitch of his eyebrows, Leorio doesn't quite get what they're trying to say, but that's okay.

He finishes cutting their nails, and kisses the palm of that hand, too.

“Any other places I need to tend to?”

Kurapika thinks. The scabs opposite the ones that have already been cared for are dry and falling off, so those are fine. Right now, there aren’t any others. They shake their head, and Leorio beams, and kisses them.

The nail clippings and the plaster backings go in the bin, and the briefcase is left on the floor by Kurapika's bed. Before he turns off the light and gets back in, Leorio picks an envelope out of the case, and tucks it between the alarm clock and the lamp on their bedside table.

“It’s just some antiseptic wipes and more plasters. Killua and Gon are never gonna get into the habit of buying first aid stuff, so I like to send them at least this much every now and then, and I'm not here with you all the time, so it feels like a good idea, right?” He actually sounds a little nervous about this incredibly thoughtful act. Kurapika only barely notices, distracted by the thought of Gon’s tendency towards long sleeves, even in the height of summer. Ridiculous that they never noticed that before, really.

“Thank you,” they say again, as the two of them lie down together. They get another kiss for it, and pulled into that broad chest by long arms. He hums into their hair.

“You know--” he stops, and they tilt their head up to look at him. Their nose catches on his stubble. He looks like he regrets opening his mouth, but that's not unusual, nor that he pushes through the sentence anyway. “I kinda thought the way you overwork yourself and lose yourself to your - your goals -” He doesn’t say the word revenge often. They don't see the point of padding it out with nicer words. They know he sometimes wishes they would. “I thought that was the extent of your self harm, you know? Else I’d’ve noticed and been able to help you out with this earlier.”

They frown.

“Pushing myself and focusing isn't self harm, Leorio.”

He cups their cheek, and his eyes are so dark and warm, his smile so small.

“The way you do it? You can't argue about this. I'm a doctor.”

They want to argue, to defend themself and their actions, but-

But Leorio has thought that all this time, and not said anything. And they remember the long, pale, faded scar along Leorio’s forearm, and the way he'd laughed and avoided the question when they'd asked about it.

So they kiss him instead, slow and hot, hands slipping to his waist. His fingers tangle into their hair and press into the small of their back.

“Mm, can we just make out till we pass out?” Leorio asks when they pull apart for air, smile wide and hazy again. Much better.

“Or we could have sex,” they point out, and he beams, and rolls onto his back, pulling them on top of him and kissing them some more.


End file.
